‘To Live And Die And Live’ Sundance 2023 Review – Amin Joseph Astonishes In This Exploration Of Addiction And Self-Loathing

The symptoms of our shadows tend to remain with us no matter how hard we try to outrun them. No matter the success and wealth we amass, the scars and self-loathing we carry with us is always simmering beneath the surface, casting a dark silhouette over our lives. To Live and Die and Live is an enthralling exploration of loss, grief, and addiction.

The movie opens in a rather jarring manner as Muhammad (Amin Joseph) arrives in a glittering and glamorous neon-lit Detroit. This Detroit is a far cry from the urban nightmare it’s made out to be in the real world. His first stop is an underground nightclub where he can feed his drug addiction and hangout with the enticing dancer, Asia (Skye P. Marshall). The next morning, he’s barely able to hold it together as he arrives at his beloved step-father’s funeral to pay his respects and reunite with his family. He quickly discovers that, while his step-father worked wonders to rebuild Detroit, he left behind a string of debts that now fall on Muhammad’s shoulders.

The backdrop of a beautifully remolded Detroit is the perfect setting to explore the internal and external struggles of a prodigal son who is decaying from the inside out. Although Amin Joseph’s Muhammad is successful, he’s deeply tortured. He’s a time bomb waiting to explode and is barely keeping it beneath the surface. Joseph’s stoic expressions are powerful here because they give life to the idea that this man is holding so much inside of him and can’t afford to let it out. Although the drugs he consumes are barely able to keep the demons at bay, they’re better than nothing and offer him a temporary reprieve from his demons.

Joseph’s raw portrayal of the successful, but tortured son adds to the film’s moody atmosphere. There’s a brilliant moment during which Muhammad speaks to a film class at his alma mater, and the weight of everything he is trying not to say to the young creatives is hanging over him. Joseph’s jittery and nervous portrayal in this moment is delicious and drawn out perfectly until he finally explodes by sharing the harsh reality of the lucrative industry in which he has made a name for himself. It’s like watching a dam break and is one of the best moments of the film.

Marshall is criminally underutilized in her role as the sexy, seductive, and mysterious Asia. It would have been nice to learn more about her life and motivations outside of being a femme fatale who may or may not help push Muhammad to his breaking point. The film would have greatly benefited from more time with this character. Speaking of which, the film also could have used some more time with Muhammad’s family, who view his mega success and status as their saving grace. While there’s a sense that they love him, it’s hinted that his relationship with them is toxic and adds to his troubled mental state and addiction issues. This is a thread that would have been well worth exploring in more depth.

To Live and Die and Live is an emotional film about the weight of unchecked trauma and the heartache of living with mental and emotional anguish that you are unable to process in a healthy way.

To Live and Die and Live had its World Premiere in the NEXT section of Sundance Film Festival 2023.

Director: Qasim Basir

Writer: Qasim Basir

Runtime: 105m