With Transformers: Rise of the Beasts set to hit theaters on June 9th, I’ve been diving into Transformers lore to get back into the fandom. From Transformers: Prime, to Bumblebee, and even the original cartoon, I find something to like in all of these projects. Of course, I was never the biggest fan of Michael Bay’s take on the Transformers franchise, but he’s done five films, and was responsible for bringing the Autobots and Decepticons to the big screen. I had to give him his due. And the first one wasn’t that bad.

However, the fifth one was horrific. I try these days to be nice and fair in my reviews, but it’s been about six years since Transformers: The Last Knight came out, and I’m okay with roasting this abomination. I’ve seen all three of the Shia LaBeouf-led films and I saw the first one that Mark Wahlberg headlined – Age of Extinction. But, considering how much I disliked that one, I was done with live-action Transformers. I didn’t even bother seeing The Last Knight then and it was a huge reason I didn’t see Bumblebee at first. PS- I’ve seen it now and Bumblebee is great.

The Last Knight, however; was such a shit-show. Oh my God. I found myself holding my face in embarrassment so many times throughout the movie. There has to be something about movies putting the word “last” in the title that make it automatic crap. The Last Knight. The Last Jedi. How do these movies get approved? What a nonsensical mess. The fusing of two different worlds with the Merlin/Arthurian backstory and giant robots from out of space world as well as…some witty comment about things that don’t mesh well with each other. And did Michael Bay even remember that these movies are about Transformers? I do not care about anything else, but the fighting robots.

Who cares about this gross love story? The odd humans. The humor does not hit. The comments that don’t let any moment breathe. Or the way he just has each character rambling and bumping into each other like they’re part of a Three Stooges routine. It is so bad and what the hell was up with that odd roll-call moment? Who the hell is Nitro Zeus? Seriously, Michael Bay, could you not have given one iota of crap?

It is no wonder this is the last film Michael Bay directed. As soon as it was over, I turned to my significant other, and insisted we watch Bumblebee. Just to at least have a refresher. Michael Bay’s Transformers designs are not only terrible, the writing is horrific, it focuses on the wrong characters for longer than it has any right to, and it’s such a chore to watch. What an absolutely disappointing end to the Bay saga. It wasn’t a great franchise to begin with, but this was just embarrassing. I feel sorry that Peter Cullen and Frank Welker returned for these films. And I feel bad that actors like Stanley Tucci and Sir Anthony Hopkins wasted their times with this. I hope the checks were at least decent.

I’m not going to even go into this whole movie. The plot is nonsense. It’s not worth it. I just wanted a moment to vent. The Last Knight is terrible. That’s all.

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