‘You’re Dating A Narcissist!’ Review – An Insightful & Humorous Debut That Deftly Explores Modern Relationships [AFF 2025]

You’re Dating A Narcissist! is a confident debut by Ann Marie Allison, and she lands right in the middle of today’s cultural obsession with red flags, gaslighting, and toxic relationships, but does so with a refreshing sense of humor and empathy. Rather than turning its premise into a bitter anti-men manifesto, the film shifts focus from romance to resilience, showing women banding together to lift each other up. It’s the kind of pop-psych rom-com that gives you something to laugh at and think about in equal measure.

At the center of it all is Marisa Tomei, who has no problem proving she can easily blend comedy and charisma. Tomei plays Judy, a New York psychologist who knows too much about narcissists for her own good. Having survived years of emotional manipulation from her ex-husband, she’s built her life and her lectures around spotting toxic traits before they strike again. So when her daughter Eva (Ciara Bravo) calls to announce she’s marrying Theo (Marco Pigossi), a doctor she met just a few weeks ago, Judy’s alarms go off instantly. Convinced Theo is another “nark,” as she calls them, Judy books a flight to Los Angeles, dragging along her loyal best friend Diane (Sherry Cola) to intervene.

What follows is a string of comedic and chaotic attempts to “save” Eva from what Judy perceives as impending disaster. Judy’s mission to expose Theo as a narcissist leads to several funny, cringeworthy encounters that are both absurd and cringeworthy. Tomei’s comedic timing is impeccable, especially in scenes where her professional expertise clashes with her maternal panic. There are great moments when she starts lecturing about love-bombing to anyone who’ll listen, as Diane awkwardly tries to diffuse the situation. Tomei makes Judy’s neurosis feel relatable, not cartoonish; you get the sense she’s driven by fear more than arrogance.

Sherry Cola is an ideal comedic partner. Her delivery is effortless, and her chemistry with Tomei is infectious. Whether they’re debating red flags over cocktails or sneaking around Theo’s house like amateur detectives, their dynamic gives the film a genuine sense of friendship and fun. Cola’s Diane is also given her own emotional arc—she’s recovering from a recent heartbreak, and through Judy’s chaos, she rediscovers her confidence. The two women’s bond becomes the real heart of the story, overshadowing the romantic drama that initially propels it.

Ciara Bravo’s Eva serves as a grounded counterpoint to her mother’s paranoia. While she initially dismisses Judy’s warnings as overprotective nonsense, the film lets their conflict unfold naturally. Eva isn’t just a naïve daughter; she’s a young woman figuring out how to trust her own instincts. The tension between mother and daughter feels natural, and it’s satisfying to see how their perspectives slowly evolve. Marco Pigossi, as Theo, plays the charming mystery well, enough to keep viewers questioning whether Judy’s fears are justified or just projections of her past.

Allison and co-writer Jenna Milly infuse the film with modern language and ideas pulled straight from online conversations about relationships, love bombing, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. Yet they handle these buzzwords with more care than cynicism, showing how easily terms meant to empower can become tools for fear and over-analysis. Judy’s obsession with spotting narcissists turns into a reflection of her own trust issues, raising a subtle but interesting question: when does protecting yourself cross into sabotaging love?

That said, not everything works perfectly. Some plot turns feel a little too convenient. Judy’s single-minded determination to prove Theo’s toxicity makes parts of the story predictable, even repetitive at times. The film occasionally leans on the same comedic setup, Judy barging into a situation convinced she’s right and without adding much variation or surprise. You can see certain revelations coming from a mile away, particularly when the story heads toward its inevitable third-act reconciliation. The rom-com structure, with its misunderstandings, last-minute realizations, and tidy resolution, can feel overly safe for a film with such a bold premise. Still, Allison’s direction keeps the pacing light, and Tomei’s infectious energy gives life to even the most familiar beats. Her commitment to Judy’s quirks ensures that the character’s obsession never tips into caricature, maintaining a human warmth that keeps the film engaging even when the script stumbles.

There are also moments when the dialogue feels a bit too polished, more like a therapist’s lecture than a real conversation, which undercuts some of the emotional authenticity. A few supporting characters, especially José María Yazpik’s Daniel, come across as underwritten, more symbols of Judy’s fears than actual human beings. As a result, the film’s emotional stakes don’t always land as deeply as they could.

In the end, this is a story of women helping women, mothers, daughters, and friends learning to let go, trust again, and heal together. That feels both timely and ever so relevant.

You’re Dating a Narcissist! had its World Premiere at the 2025 Austin Film Festival. 

Director: Ann Marie Allison

Writers: Ann Marie Allison, Jenna Milly

Rated: NR

Runtime: 91m