Synopsis: BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD (Jurassic World franchise) is Elly Conway, the reclusive author of a series of best-selling espionage novels, whose idea of bliss is a night at home with her computer and her cat, Alfie. But when the plots of Elly’s fictional books—which center on secret agent Argylle and his mission to unravel a global spy syndicate—begin to mirror the covert actions of a real-life spy organization, quiet evenings at home become a thing of the past. Accompanied by Aidan, a cat-allergic spy played by Oscar® winner SAM ROCKWELL (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri), Elly (carrying Alfie in her backpack) races across the world to stay one step ahead of the killers as the line between Elly’s fictional world and her real one begins to blur.
Is lying a necessary function of life? Is honesty the best policy? The short and easy answer is yes and yes. However, when it comes to humans, the answer is always more complicated. Lies are often used to manipulate, deceive, confuse, and hurt. While that’s how we tend to describe them when used against us, they can also be used in a benevolent manner. That tends to come in the form of preserving feelings or protecting ourselves from harm. But what are the side effects? Does lying about Santa and the Tooth Fairy sow seeds of distrust? Does praising mediocrity hinder growth and the possibility of greatness? Does lying to yourself set you up for constant disappointment? This is where it gets complicated. Comparatively, while telling the truth seems forthright and good, honesty can potentially be just as detrimental. Being too honest can hurt feelings and crush dreams. It can also motivate and humble. Like a yin-yang, these concepts require balance. Neither one makes you good or evil. Similar to much of life, they both reside in the grey and are both a necessary function. Too much of either one at one time is complete chaos because the pendulum will eventually swing the other way.
“Why would The Division care about me.”
What do you do when everything and nothing are exactly as they seem? Directed by Matthew Vaughn, Argylle is insanely absurd from start to finish. On most occasions, when I use that kind of phrasing, it’s more positive than negative. Unfortunately, it’s Opposite Day. With an opening sequence that is incredibly similar to 2022’s The Lost City, my suspicions going into this film were confirmed. Argylle unfolds like a chopped-and-screwed amalgamation of the Sandra Bullock action comedy and the Kingsman franchise. All the boxes are checked. Unwilling participant? Check. Multifaceted spy story? Check. Ungodly amounts of twists and turns? Check. Over-the-top or unreal action sequences? Check. And finally, a romantic storyline? Check. None of that is an issue if done correctly.
We know to step outside the realm of reality when we watch almost any film within the Fast franchise. However, we are sold that logic early enough to suspend disbelief for the film’s entire runtime. The problem arises when you are too subtle in your exaggeration for three-fourths of the film and then decide to step inside the melded minds of Deadpool and The Mask and deliver an excessively zany, albeit stylized climax that fits like Shaq in a size 15 shoe. If it fully commits to Vaughn-style lunacy from the beginning, this film would be a gem. I was all in for the first act of the film. The premise was cool and it was unfolding at a thrilling pace. However, once the film slows down and gets into specifics, it gets weird… bad weird.
“You want to go up there and die or come with me and hear the truth?”
The film has its upsides. Its cinematography is pleasing, the initial surprises are exciting, and most of the characters are fun. I should mention, however, that the trailer is misleading as to how long members of this star-studded cast are actually in this action thriller. Before things become a structural mess, the writing and some of its scenes are witty and rather memorable. Moreover, it has a touch of heart. Not to mention, its intertwining book aspect is entertaining. Nevertheless, it lacks enough emotion to have its audience fully invest in what happens to its protagonist, Elly. Like noticing the purposeful misspelling of its title to a name in it, nothing is it seems. And while you can have some fun with this spy comedy, unfortunately, the bad outweighs the good. Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell work well together, but their lively chemistry couldn’t save the day. And it’s just too long. This is definitely one that you should wait for its streaming debut. Again, if it would’ve committed to crazy or committed to being serious, it’d be a great movie. Its rewatchability is low. There is a mid-credits scene.

Pace & Pop
The film’s pace is smooth through the first act. From the second act on, it’s clunky and even slow at times. What popped for me or rather confused the hell out of me was this dance move that is performed multiple times. Imagine lifting someone up into a split position and holding them there until their crotch heat is radiating in your face. And as their legs are spread, you spin around with their legs looking like helicopter propellers. The image is burned into my brain because it’s so random.

Characters & Chemistry
Starring: BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD, SAM ROCKWELL, BRYAN CRANSTON, CATHERINE O’HARA, HENRY CAVILL, SOFIA BOUTELLA, DUA LIPA, ARIANA DEBOSE with JOHN CENA, and SAMUEL L. JACKSON
As I mentioned above, Bryce Dallas Howard and Sam Rockwell make a great pair. Howard always finds a way to charm on camera in more ways than one. However, it’s Rockwell who steals the show. His trademark charisma and dance moves are on full display. Henry Cavill and John Cena aren’t in the film nearly enough but it’s a pairing that we should see in another movie. Put Dua Lipa in a Bond movie ASAP. Unfortunately, Bryan Cranston’s Ritter is neither strong nor menacing, just annoying.
Argylle releases in theaters on February 2, 2024. Stay safe and protect your pet.
Rated: PG-13 Runtime: 2h 19m Director: MATTHEW VAUGHN Writer: JASON FUCHS Producers: MATTHEW VAUGHN, P.G.A, ADAM BOHLING, P.G.A, DAVID REID, P.G.A, JASON FUCHS, P.G.A Executive Producers: CLAUDIA VAUGHN, CARLOS PERES, ZYGI KAMASA, ADAM FISHBACH

Argylle is insanely absurd from start to finish. On most occasions, when I use that kind of phrasing, it’s more positive than negative. Unfortunately, it’s Opposite Day. With an opening sequence that is incredibly similar to 2022's The Lost City, my suspicions going into this film were confirmed. Argylle unfolds like a chopped-and-screwed amalgamation of the Sandra Bullock action comedy and the Kingsman franchise. All the boxes are checked.
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GVN Rating 5.5
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User Ratings (1 Votes)
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