‘Christmas At The Kringles’ Review- Ho, Ho, No To A Holiday Misfire

Dashing through the snow? Perhaps not. More like a one-horse open sleigh, straight into Christmas movie hell. And not in a good way. Sure, some Christmas Hallmark movies are so sickeningly sweet your teeth may fall out, but don’t mind the treat. Blending Christmas with other genres, like horror or action, is a difficult balance. These entries are more empty stockings than a full court catalog. Christmas at the Kringles is one of those instances where it tries to be a hodgepodge of movies wrapped in Christmas packaging, yet it’s as successful and enjoyable as a fruitcake left on the side of the highway in a snowdrift. An attempt to evoke The ’Burbs meets Christmas with the Kranks results in a film as useful as a Christmas tree in August.

The Severson Family, Mark (Ron Livingston), Julie (Rachel Bilson), and Bobby (Jack Jewkes), move to the suburbs for a fresh start. Across the street from them lives the Kringle Family. Family patriarch Nick (Thomas Lennon) and matriarch Carol (Arden Myrin) celebrate Christmas to the max. They keep their house decked out and spread seasonal greetings year-round. Eccentric, they seem harmless at first, even inviting the Seversons over for Christmas Eve dinner. However, when Bobby grows attached to the family, Mark grows concerned. After a heated confrontation, Mark discovers that things aren’t merry and bright at the Kringle home. Teaming with a rogue Santa (Rob Riggle), Mark sets out to save his family from yuletide indoctrination and hypnosis.

The problem with Christmas at the Kringles is that it’s similar to a burnt holiday cookie. It doesn’t taste good or look festive. On the one hand, the movie embraces the shenanigans and bloody holiday delivery found in films such as Die Hard or, more recently, Violent Night. Riggle’s bad-ass Santa routine is a pale imitation of both Bruce Willis’s McClane and David Harbour’s jolly old St. Nick. Sure, there’s bloody fisticuffs and holiday hijinks, but it clashes with the story it’s trying to tell. A holiday Serial Mom meets Christmas in The ’Burbs, but it lacks direction or a clear purpose.

The Kringles’ backstory is about as clear as seeing through a blizzard. These people might be in a Christmas cult, or some weird holiday-worship circle. “Christmas is the one day where joy unites the whole world,” Carol says at the beginning of the film, so that is the basic modus operandi. The Kringles want to indoctrinate their neighbors into their Christmas cottage industry; otherwise, they end up on the naughty list. At times, the film tries to be uber serious and suggests a more sinister route, but then zigzags and changes its tune into a Jingle Bell rock of carnage and wacky sideshow antics.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation fans will appreciate seeing Beverly D’Angelo pop up as the off-her-rocker grandmother, Mama Kringle. These moments, along with Myrin, whom die-hard Christmas movie fans will recognize from Christmas with the Kranks, are at the very least amusing holiday-movie Easter eggs.

The major problem is that the story runs in circles. It never gives us even a modicum of interest in any of the characters, much less the yuletide antics. Sure, it is campy at points, and some may find that amusing, but don’t go in expecting even a Hallmark-style rendition of a Christmas message or holiday theme. It’s certainly not a timeless classic à la It’s a Wonderful Life, nor is it a tacky, oddball favorite like Christmas with the Kranks. Far from a humbug affair, it’s too close to the fruitcake that reappears like a phantom each holiday season, with no purpose, no understanding, and people shying away from it. This movie is the Christmas fruitcake. Stale and bizarre.

This whole affair has a unique, decked-out Christmas-yard feel, but it’s as fulfilling as a whole jug of eggnog on an empty stomach. You watch it the same way you read a yearly Christmas newsletter. See if anything happens and then move on.

Christmas at the Kringles releases in theaters on October 30.