Gretel and Hansel Review: A Boring Retelling of a Fairy-Tale Classic

Hansel and Gretel is a Brothers Grimm tale that, for the most part; everyone knows. Two unsuspecting children arrive at a house that is literally edible, but this tasty home is all a ruse for the witch living there to fatten the children up and eat them. That is certainly a horror story and Hollywood looked to kick it up a notch with the horror, dark fantasy thriller Gretel and Hansel. As opposed to a twisted, whimsical nightmare, Orion Pictures drummed up a really boring and unnecessary take on a literary classic.

The Tone Was Off

In my personal opinion, any iteration of Hansel and Gretel should be a psychotic version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That sort of whimsical element is a whacky contrast to the real horrific underlying truth: that these children are purposely being fattened up to later be eaten by a terrifying witch. Think Alice in Wonderland and Willy Wonka combined. That’s what I would have loved to see, but I didn’t get that with Gretel and Hansel.

It Was…Boring

Instead, it was a drab and dreary take on the classic tale. It felt a bit like Annabelle or The Witch meets the Brothers Grimm. It was about 122 minutes too long. It took forever to get to any sort of action and in reality, didn’t get to the action at all. If I’m being honest, the slow pace made the movie unbearably boring to watch.

Where Was The Whimsy?

The actors also felt very out of place. While the costumes and environment certainly set up for a horror movie, everyone felt as if they were playing make-believe. Yes, I know they’re actors, but typically when you watch a film, you want to feel like you’re transformed. You want to feel like you are really watching certain events unfold. I didn’t feel any of this authenticity that you would want from a horror movie. I was counting down the minutes, if I’m being honest.

Rating: 1.5/5

Overall, I do not think this is a movie that works and if Hansel and Gretel were to be remade again, I do think that it needs a bit of creativity behind it. The story shouldn’t be afraid to be weird. You should have a house made of gingerbread. It should be a twisted fantasy. By trying to ground this story, the movie ruined it.

Have you seen Gretel and Hansel? What were your thoughts?

 

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments