‘Ice Cream Man’ Review- A Brain Freeze of A Horror Comedy

So right off the bat, when you read the synopsis of Ice Cream Man, it sounds a bit like Weapons—an evil ice cream that turns kids into homicidal maniacs? Not only does it sound similar to Weapons, but it is also the kind of ridiculous B-movie setup that practically writes and sells itself, especially if you are a sucker for B-movie horror. It sounds like something that should be this messy, mean fun time, especially coming from Eli Roth. He’s made a career out of taking outrageous concepts and pushing them as far as they’ll go, so this seemed like a perfect match. And no, it isn’t a remake of the 1995 film of the same name by Paul Norman; it’s a completely original idea by Eli Roth, which so happens to be one of the weakest films Roth has ever made.

The story begins on a sweltering summer afternoon during a neighborhood Little League game. Jared (Charlie Zeltzer) is already having a rough day after costing his team the game and becoming the favorite target of the local bullies. When a funny looking ice cream truck rolls into town, nearly every kid rushes over for a frozen treat. Jared is the only one who doesn’t get any, thanks to his older sister Lizzie pulling him away before he can eat one, and that decision ends up saving his life. Later that night, every child who ate the ice cream slips into a strange trance before turning violently against their own families. Parents are murdered in increasingly bizarre ways, and by sunrise the quiet suburban neighborhood has become a war zone overrun by homicidal children. Jared, Lizzie, and a handful of survivors are left trying to figure out what happened and stop whatever evil the mysterious ice cream man has unleashed.

Kinda like a B-movie Weapons, huh? Granted it’s a whole original idea that was actually made before Weapons even released. It’s a setup that should practically run on autopilot where we have killer kids, suburban paranoia, an evil ice cream truck, and over-the-top kills—sound like the ingredients for a bloody midnight movie. Well you’d be surprised to learn it’s not as great or as fun as it sounds, at least to this humble reviewer.

To my surprise, and probably the surprise of many, the Ice Cream Man himself actually doesn’t play that big of a roll. For someone whose name is in the title, he spends much of the film lingering in the background while the focus shifts almost entirely to the possessed children. Ari Millen certainly looks the part as he has this unsettling appearance and quiet demeanor which make for an intriguing first impression, but the screenplay never develops him into a memorable horror villain. He just feels like a plot device that disappears whenever the movie doesn’t know what to do with him.

That lack of focus extends to the rest of the film. It never really or entirely strikes a good balance of a horror movie, a campy comedy, or an affectionate throwback to cheesy B-movies because it fails on all fronts. Normally that kind of tonal balancing act can be fun, especially in Roth’s hands. Here, though, the movie feels just… lifeless. The cheesiness may very well be intentional, but intentionality doesn’t automatically mean entertaining. The comedy is where things really begin to fall apart as there are jokes scattered throughout nearly every scene, but very few of them actually land. Some of that comes down to the writing, which often thinks awkward dialogue equals laugh out loud humor, but an even bigger issue is the performances. Nearly every actor delivers their lines with the same hesitant, uncertain rhythm, as if nobody fully believes what they’re saying. Instead of them embracing the absurdity of the world they are in, the cast often sounds uncomfortable trying to make the material work, as if they don’t know what kind of movie they are in.

That problem affects almost everyone on screen. It’s tough singling out performances as there really isn’t anyone who rises above the material here. The acting feels stiff across the board, making it difficult to become invested in either the horror or the comedy. Even scenes that should feel chaotic or emotionally charged struggle to generate much energy because the performances remain so flat. It’s not really the actors fault as they are just doing the job they are assigned to do but more so the flat and utterly lifeless direction from Eli Roth.

The dialogue certainly doesn’t help. Conversations never really sound natural, as it feels the actors had no prep ahead of time, and even the more exaggerated exchanges never develop the confidence needed for this kind of movie. Horror comedies can survive bad dialogue if the cast fully commits to it but Ice Cream Man never reaches that point. The awkward writing and awkward delivery end up amplifying one another.

What’s especially disappointing is how subdued Eli Roth’s direction feels. Whether you enjoy his films or not, Roth usually directs with a sense of enthusiasm, or at least with a sense that you know he is behind the camera. His movies tend to be energetic, nasty, and fully committed to whatever outrageous idea they’re exploring. Here, while it has elements of those things it’s almost feels as though he’s operating on autopilot. There is very little visual personality as the pacing drags more than expected, and the set pieces never build the kind of momentum the premise promises.

That may be the biggest frustration of all for me. A movie about hypnotized children slaughtering an entire suburb should feel gleefully unhinged. Instead, it spends much of its runtime feeling surprisingly routine. There are constant glimpses of the outrageous horror comedy hiding underneath, particularly once the children begin their murderous rampage, but the film never pushes those moments far enough to become anything close to memorable.

I kept waiting for the movie to fully embrace its own ridiculousness” lean into the gore or lean into the dark comedy. Instead, everything feels restrained, as though the film is constantly holding back from becoming the outrageous B-movie it clearly wants to be. Really, that is what makes Ice Cream Man such a disappointment. The premise is genuinely fun, and killer children remain one of horror’s most reliably unsettling ideas. Yet weak performances, clunky dialogue, flat comedy, and surprisingly uninspired direction prevent the movie from capitalizing on any of its strengths. Even the title character ends up feeling like an afterthought.