Ranked: The ‘Indiana Jones’ Movies

“Jock! Start the engine!”

Indiana Jones (a.k.a Doctor Jones, Junior, and Captain Dynamite, Scourge of the Kaiser) will to return to cinemas one last time at the end of this month with the fifth entry in the long-loved franchise, aptly titled ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’. The film is set to be his swansong, sending Indy off into the sun with a final journey that will hopefully live up to the (mostly) legendary adventures that precede it. In anticipation, we’re going to rank his escapades up to this point, from worst to best, to refresh your minds and help prepare you for whatever ‘Dial of Destiny’ has in store.

4. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

If it wasn’t obvious enough going in (looking at you, Crystal Skull sympathizers) the most recent Indy entry takes the last spot. Interestingly enough, the widespread distaste for this one seems to be relegated pretty much exclusively to fans, as the critical consensus has always been solid. It holds a respectable 77% on Rotten Tomatoes, with the consensus reading, “Though the plot elements are certainly familiar, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull still delivers the thrills and Harrison Ford’s return in the title role is more than welcome.” In comparison, more than 250,000 fans chimed in on the website, with the composite percentage sitting at a much less impressive 53%. Fifteen years down, and this one is still hard to digest.

The CGI, which was already questionable at the time, is now plain distracting, and feels constantly at odds with Spielberg’s tendencies of old. The first act is surprisingly old-fashioned though, sprinkled with subtle references, familiar feels, and classic Indy insanity. The highlights of the act, and really the film as a whole, are the warehouse car chase and, yes, the lead-lined refrigerator scene in the Nuke town. It’s crazy, sure, but that’s the beauty of it.

But once Indy gets mixed in with Shia LeBouf’s Mutt Williams, the film seriously nosedives. We’re treated to an onslaught of weird plot-twists, annoying side characters, and heaps of mischaracterization. By the time that flying saucer shoots off into the sky at the height of the climax, you’re left with a serious headache, just glad that it’s over. Definitely not forgettable, but perhaps even that would’ve been a better alternative.

3. The Last Crusade

From here on out, we’re in near-masterpiece territory. It’s less a matter of discussing what these movies do wrong and more about which one does the most right. Despite this being just one spot above Crystal Skull, it may as well be on a completely different list. ‘The Last Crusade’ is Spielberg firing on all cylinders, delivering the best banter and easily the most heartfelt moments in the franchise. Enter Sean Connery as Indy’s estranged dad, and you’ve got something on an entirely new level of special.

This is Indy’s journey of self-reflection, one that resolves in the wake of a crucial moment of understanding between Indy and his father. The two of them break down their walls throughout the film after spending so many years apart, all the while invading Nazi camps, stealing a blimp, fighting tanks on horseback, walking over invisible bridges, and retrieving the literal cup of Christ from an age-old knight destined to guard it since the crusades. A full-blooded Indiana Jones film the whole way through, served with a heaping helping of heart and historic wonder. It isn’t perfect, but it’s easily one of the best trilogy finales of all time.

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Before everyone grabs their whips, just because ‘Raiders’ is in second place doesn’t mean that it isn’t a masterpiece. This is unarguably one of the most influential films ever made, and has been a go-to classic for movie-lovers for more than forty years. It’s flawless reputation has never wavered, not even in the slightest. Spielberg and Ford pair to create one of the most distinct, inspiring stories ever told, centered around a perfect character introduction that accomplishes so much by keeping so much locked away.

We see Indiana Jones through the lens of everyone else in his world; we hear fragmented stories of past adventures, and watch in awe even as he simply speaks about an artifact which we’ve yet to see. Ford’s performance is absolutely colossal to boot. His inherent cool-factor bleeds through the character, selling the stories with memorable delivery and calculated energy. This may still be his best performance to this day, and that is only a testament to how unbelievable he is here.

The film is also just constant, from the first shot to the very last. Every single frame is relevant in one way or another, and even the slow-moving moments feel completely necessary. This is a fully efficient blockbuster masterpiece. If the first two acts didn’t have you convinced, no heart of stone could stay as such after the infamous climax. The horrific practical effects in tandem with cosmic portrayals of power and spirit take this well over the top in one of the wildest final acts ever executed. “It’s ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark'”, really, is an argument all on it’s own. Yet even then, it somehow isn’t the best in the series.

1. The Temple of Doom

A conclusion so dumbfounding yet absolutely unavoidable: ‘The Temple of Doom’ is an all-encompassing adventure extravaganza through set-pieces and ideas of such grandeur that they have yet to be replicated even now. It is the best Indiana Jones movie, and perhaps simply the best movie ever made. Not everyone has latched on to this one though, and that’s understandable. This is by-a-mile the darkest, weirdest, most eccentric film under the Indiana Jones umbrella. It’s steeped in a blood-soaked color palette and encased in a shadow that swallows all except for Indy, who has risen to a mythic level in this entry. It almost feels like an Indiana Jones greatest hits sizzle reel, and that was simply destined to divide some folks, especially those expecting a direct sequel to ‘Raiders’.

Yet it soars with wings of it’s own. The films retains the awe and general structure of the first film, driven by an artifact and pervaded by an ominous overtone. But it manages to foreshadow a new experience with the opening scene. The regal club, with dancers and drinks galore, feels like a fun opening until Indy is introduced. He looks uneasy, so from there on out, we are too.

The set eventually unravels into a wild playground akin to the tomb from the ‘Raiders’ opening, but here, we’re operating in a tighter space that slowly fragments into bits and bobs for Indy to work with. It’s equal parts careful and chaotic, before eventually exploding and spilling through a window down onto the streets, where it continues in a slapstick car chase that defines the best of the franchise. The chase is brimming with signature humor and one-of-a-kind circumstance, and is also the scene that cements Ke Huy Quan’s Short Round as the best Indiana Jones sidekick ever in the same scene that he is introduced. Somehow, it only gets better from there.

Everything involving the cult below Pankot Palace is tantalizing, supported by all-time great practical effects and genuinely shocking imagery. The cult-leader is driven by that imagery, his motivations lie hidden below the wicked nature of his actions. Visually, ‘Temple’ silhouettes Indy to amplify the fantastical class of heroism on display. He’s a higher brand of hero here, operating on pure good-will and gaining a new dimension in character .

As Indy dismantles the Thuggee cult piece-by-piece, the hellish environment that we’d spent so long trapped in begins to give way, building up to the mine-cart sequence that opens to the first sign of the sun in what feels like forever. Finally fully exposed, the Thuggee are now playing on Indy’s field, and they and their leader are defeated in broad daylight as Spielberg gleefully executes a set-piece for the ages. Indy cutting the rope bridge in half and forcing the final battle to be a vertical death match on the hanging bridge, which is suspended over a river of crocodiles, is pure Indiana Jones glory.

This and more all run together to spin a web of uncomfortable yet unavoidable allure that, again, hasn’t been replicated in anything since. ‘Temple’ obviously couldn’t exist without ‘Raiders’, but it does everything that film does and more. It is the best entry in what may be the best franchise in cinematic history.

Everyone Has a Hat of Their Own

The beauty of these movies, and all movies, are your experiences with them. Having spanned four decades, we’re bound to have differing interpretations and memories with movies so special as these. So don’t take this list as (arti)fact, and feel free to share your own in the comments below! Either way, we can all look forward to seeing our favorite “teacher” back on the big screen one last time when ‘Dial of Destiny’ releases on June 30th.

“It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.”