Plot Summary: Narrated by Neil Patrick Harris takes us back to the 1980s where excess was king, the hair was big and a pint-sized doll took America by storm. Told by the main players including its alleged creator, Jenks lays out the story of the highly successful Cabbage Patch Kids, a brand that was once so popular people literally got into physical fights over them. Sometimes stranger than fiction, this deep dive tells the incredible story of the doll that made over a billion dollars and how its creator may have stolen the idea.
By the time I was born, the Cabbage Patch Kids craze had pretty much started to decline in popularity. Although, my mother would tell me she tried to get one for my older sister with no such luck. Thankfully, her attempt never resulted in a blood-battle during Black Friday. As someone who loves pop-culture, I am really fascinated by trends, especially from the ‘80s and ‘90s, a time period I grew up in. This might partly explain why when I heard someone made a documentary about this strange fad, my curiosity was more than just a little piqued. Also, having seen some diehard Cabbage fans talk on camera before, I knew that it would be at the very least amusing.
Director Andrew Jenks, who previously helmed the crime doc Dream/Killer, ventures into some considerably lighter fare this time around. Did it live up to my expectations? Well, thankfully yes, it did. Billion Dollar Babies (named after the famous Alice Cooper song which plays at the beginning of the film) is an extremely thoughtful and well put together documentary. I was skeptical of how a subject like this could fill an entire feature length film. Thankfully, there is enough material to make for a breezy, and wholly enjoyable outing. Jenks does a really fantastic job at breaking down the surprisingly fascinating history of the pint-sized, some would call ugly baby dolls. What unfolds is a highly interesting and at times downright surreal story of commerce excess, the thin line between art and business, and the kind of greed that could only come out of the 1980’s.
The subjects are completely engaging, and you can’t help but hang on their every word. Of note is the creator, Xavier Roberts, whose big personality is exactly what this documentary demands. Honestly, one could easily see an entire documentary solely on Roberts as he is that much of a character. I also liked the fact that, unlike in a recent documentary I reviewed, Who You Gonna Call?, this movie doesn’t shy away from talking about scandalous lawsuits. It was claimed that Xavier stole the original Cabbage Patch design from a woman named Martha Nelson Thomas. Thomas sadly passed away, but her story is told through her children and loved ones. This aspect certainly delivers the emotional weight the documentary needed.
Outside of the main players, we also get pop-culture experts and famed journalist Connie Chung. The highlight for me was the married couple who own an entire museum worth of Cabbage Patch Kids. They capture the, shall we say, interesting die-hard collector base that have been obsessed with the brand since its birth. Thankfully, the filmmakers never feel like they are making fun of these fans, but rather presenting them as the life blood of what keeps the brand alive. I really liked that Jenks provides a lot of context about the culture in which these babies were born. He also lays out exactly why these dolls were so popular to begin with. Rare vintage news footage, interviews, photos and videos also help paint a detailed picture. Trends will come and go, and while for the most part Cabbage Patch Kids are considered relics of a bygone day; their rise and fall make for a pretty fascinating story.
Billion Dollar Babies: The True Story Of The Cabbage Patch Kids is an official selection of the 2022 Tribeca Film Festival.
Directors: Andrew Jenks
Runtime: 90m
Cast: Neil Patrick Harris
Trends will come and go, and while for the most part Cabbage Patch Kids are considered relics of a bygone day; their rise and fall make for a pretty fascinating story
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GVN Rating 7
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Big film nerd and TCM Obsessed. Author of The Ultimate Guide to Strange Cinema from Schiffer Publishing. Resume includes: AMC’s The Bite, Scream Magazine etc. Love all kinds of movies and television and have interviewed a wide range of actors, writers, producers and directors. I currently am a regular co-host on the podcast The Humanoids from the Deep Dive and have a second book in the works from Bear Manor.