GVN Talking Comics Review: Dark Horse Comics ‘White Savior’ Issue 3 – “…More snipes, pop culture references and lunacy”

Last Time on White Savior

So, where did Dark Horse Comics, White Savior leave off? With the supposed “White Savior” of the Inoki village Nathan Garin having accidentally killed himself by falling onto his own weapons. And not the whole, “Falling onto your own sword,” i.e., sacrificing yourself kind of thing. Instead, it was the drugged and mixed with alcohol, fell over in a heap and crashed into his weapons, impaling himself kind of thing. So much for leading the people into battle. The problem that Todd Parker and his accomplice Maggie (who gave Garin the drug) have to resolve is what to do with the body and how to still save the Village of Inoki. Is that all?

Todd Gets the Audience Up to Speed

Although, the above synopsis wasn’t TOTALLY necessary. If you read the first part of issue three, the aforementioned Mr. Parker does a pretty good job of breaking down everything that had happened to that point. Much to the chagrin of Miss Maggie who wonders who Todd is talking to as he lays everything out. Of course, since Maggie is a pickpocket, conman, and Podiatrist…what does HER opinion matter?

Deciding how to Dispose of the “Savior”

None of which changed the fact that they had a body to dispose of. And unfortunately, just placing a sheet over the corpse doesn’t do the job. Not to mention that the people of Inoki were counting on the White Savior to lead them to promised victory. So, how could they get the people to believe that Nathan Garin was still available to protect them, while covering up the fact that he was in all actuality, dead as a door nail. Or whatever type of fastener the folks in that time period used to build stuff.

Facing Off

Maggie’s solution was unique for that time, if not for the current movie going public. She used her knife to slice Garin’s face off. No doubt to the delight of those fans of Silence of the Lambs or the iconic Nick Cage and John Travolta classic Face-Off. One thing was for sure, Nathan Garin no longer was in need of his face. While Todd was more than a little grossed out by Maggie’s initiative, he decided to agree to her plan. HE would wear Garin’s armor and face and try to inspire the Omura Clan to change their plans and pick a new course of action. One that didn’t involve charging head long into certain death.

Inspiring the Troops

Maggie and Todd’s brilliant plan had a few drawbacks. One was that Todd was nowhere NEAR the size of Garin, nor sounded anything like him. He would have to depend on the dead guy’s face and trying to sound as confident as Garin himself sounded. In other words, BS them in a colossal way! This was aided when Maggie suggested he channeled his inner The Rock, Rocky’s Trainer Mickey Goldmill, King Leonidas from 300, and any other thing he could think of. Fortunately, the Inoki Villagers were, shall we say, gullible… and ate up anything their Savior had to say. No matter if they understood it or not. Because of this, the Pseudo Savior convinced them to postpone their attack. It wasn’t like their enemy was just waiting for them to show up, right?

All Dressed Up and No Battle to Fight

Meanwhile, Kenzo and the Akuna clan were waiting for their foes to show themselves. This had all been arranged, hadn’t it? Garin was supposed to have led the Omura clan right into the meatgrinder, the kill box, the death trap, their doom sandwich. (Yes, I made that last one up). But even though the agreed upon time had come and gone, their victims were nowhere in sight! How RUDE! They even had their secret weapon, “The Wall” all loaded on a wagon and ready to dispense his own brand of mayhem and pain upon them. That was not only RUDE but unfair as well. Kenzo had promised him some old-fashioned weak-kneed opponents to thresh like so much wheat. Darn it!

White Savior Perks

Back at the Anoki village, Todd (in his flawless Nathan Garin disguise) was enjoying the benefits of his newfound fame and notoriety. Everywhere he went, the villagers were singing his praises. Not too bad for a guy that faints at the sign of his own blood. Even better was when he returned to his (Nathan’s) domicile to find the leader of the clan’s daughter waiting for him and wanting him to “give her all his loving, all his hugs and kisses too.” While this was a great opportunity for Todd (if he could untie the hangman’s knot from around his tongue), he knew this wasn’t the time for such a thing. Although he was also put off by the fact that she only seemed to like him because he was “white.” Or at least he SEEMED to be. Dead guys skin covers up a lot it seems.

A Crime Committed

However, no sooner had he scooted the willing young lady out of his place, when he heard a gathering of people outside his abode. Led by Yoshihiro himself. It seems they had found a faceless corpse buried in one of their gardens. Using their keen analytical senses and detective skills. they had deduced who the victim was and the person responsible. Todd’s gut sank to his stomach as he KNEW he had been found out. At least until Yoshihiro started laughing. He announced that the dead man HAD to be the village idiot. Who had gone missing when Garin had arrived for the battle. It was obvious what had happened. Garin had killed him and cut his face off. Good riddance as far as the villagers were concerned. No one LIKED the village idiot.

RIP Village Idiot

Relief settled into Todd as he realized he just gotten away with something. Although he was a tiny bit hurt by the fact that HE was the supposed “Village Idiot.” Given that title from the previous incarnation of Nathan Garin. Man! He thought that the villagers liked him. And right after he had saved Yoshihiro from certain death in the previous battle too. Ok, he had accidentally fell into that situation, but really…. where’s the gratitude?

Getting Advice

Once THAT crisis was avoided, Nathan/Todd still had the problem of how to deal with the Akuna Clan and the certain death that was still waiting for them. Showing that he valued other people’s opinions (and that he had no idea what to do), he asked Yoshihiro what he would do if HE was in his shoes. Not likely since Todd had much smaller feet. However, Yoshihiro explained that he would march right down to Kenzo’s castle and demand he surrender. Oh, and stomp his foot down. Very important! It makes a statement.

A Chance to Negotiate

It was brilliant! That’s EXACTLY what he would do. He would go to Kenzo and have a heart-to-heart talk. It’s not like Kenzo was some crazy man who dreamed of stabbing people with his fork. He was the head of a very powerful and successful clan. He probably was used to negotiating with his competition. No problem. Although Maggie thought he was being the village idiot again. Not possible…he was dead. Sort of.

Nathan vs The Wall

It didn’t take long after Todd/Nathan arrived at Kenzo’s castle that his planned negotiations broke down. Unless he considered being pitched in a mano-on-mano situation with the Akuna’s secret weapon, the Wall, a successful conclusion. But at least the stipulations were clear. If he defeats the mountainous Wall, he and the village of Inoki are spared. But if he is defeated, the village goes down like Tokoyo under Godzilla’s feet. Seem’s fair. Only problem is that Todd has no fighting skills. He is physically outmatched, and his opponent has a much more intimidating outfit. No doubt HIS was tailored for him, and not the previous guy in the role. Details, details….

The Best Offense is NOT GET HIT

As Todd scrambled to stay out of the behemoth’s way, he noticed that Maggie had arrived and was close by, watching the battle. She asked how he was doing, and he had to admit, it didn’t look good. As Todd continued to do his best to evade (A.K.A running like a scared rabbit), he asked Maggie for advice. She suggested that if he can’t beat the Wall in a fair fight, CHEAT! Cheat? Why had HE not thought of that? But how?

A 2nd Grade Plan

It was then that Todd had an epiphany. What would the 2nd grade Todd do in a fight to gain the upper hand? He made his decision, but it would require precise timing. So, when the opportunity came, he grasped it by the hand…or the skirt and he yanked for all his worth. Voilà! A de-pantsing worthy of a second grader. How could the Wall ever hope to come back against such a devious ploy? The answer was all it did was piss him off. Especially with his purple underwear available for all to see. He told Todd as much. In a familiar voice. The Wall was in fact, Neal. Todd’s friend from the future.

Who is the Good Guy Here?

Each of them thought that they were fighting for truth, justice and the Japanese way. Although Todd’s attempt to look like a white dude was puzzling to Neal. (Those who have been following from the beginning know, Neal is a muscular black man.) But while they were trying to decipher all the events of the past few days and who was on whose side, Kenzo was tired of waiting and decided to kill both of them. They scrambled from the castle as a rain of arrows came flying down upon them. How they avoided getting hit is an answer only comic creators can answer. But fortunately for them, they escaped from almost certain death. Not to mention Kenzo and his horde had decided to wait until the next day to go to Inoki and kill everyone. That is very sporting of them.

Thoughts

Just when you thought that creators Eric Nguyen and Scott Burman couldn’t squeeze any more snipes, pop culture references and lunacy into their story, they proved you wrong. Issue three dumped out a vat full of the irreverent banter that has marked the series. Even going so far as to describe in a fashion sense, Neal’s preferred under garment attire (“Pink Briefs from Lululemon’s Summer Collection”).

Throughout the first three issues, Nguyen and Burman have proven their willingness to not a little thing like embracing silly deter them. Which I for one, appreciate. Although the Tootsie reference and editor’s note about that no one over 40 would be reading the series was a bit harsh. I am and I have been reading. So there!

Such things as having the main character break down the synopsis to everything that had transpired for the first two issues for those who hadn’t had the good fortune of reading them. Much to the puzzlement of Maggie who made it clear she already KNEW that stuff. Not EVERYONE is talking to YOU Maggie. Add that to mentions of Guy Fieiri of Food Network fame, Arbys and even some Squirrel taxation love. I always KNEW those squirrels were getting over when it came to tax time. If that wasn’t enough, they also decide to throw in some blatant sucking up to the publisher. No doubt to grease the wheels for a possible sequel, and more importantly, because it was funny to do so. Couldn’t hurt fellows.

So, we’re down to the final issue of this mini-series. Will Todd and Neal come up with a plan to save the village of Inoki and BOTH become Saviors? Or will it be Maggie who will save all their asses, using the skills learned from petty theft and Podiatry? We will find out when Issue 4 makes its way to stands. In the meantime, Dark Horse comics White Savior, Issue 3 by Eric Nguyen and Scott Burman is available now where great comics are sold.