“You’ve got to help me, Jamie. You’ve got to help me find him. We both know he’s alive. But you know where he is! Why? Why are you protecting him? What about your stepmother, Jamie? You love her, don’t you? He made you stab her. You can’t hide from him. He’ll always get to you. Jamie, Jamie, you listen. Today in the cemetery somebody dug up a coffin. It was the coffin of a nine-year-old girl. What do you think he is going to do with that? Huh? You’re nine years old, aren’t you, Jamie? Tears won’t get you anywhere. Help me to find him. We’ll find him together! There’s a reason why he has this power over you. Did you ever wonder what it is?” -Dr. Sam Loomis
Michael wakes up in a cave and kills the old hobo taking care of him. Was Michael asleep a whole year? Why did the hobo keep his mask on? How does a hobo dress a hundred gunshot wounds? Wait, wasn’t Jamie set up to be the new killer? None of these questions are answered, so strap in and get used to that feeling!
At the same time, Jamie wakes up unable to scream. She hasn’t spoke since she stabbed her step mother. Oh, and Dr. Loomis is her psychologist and has become a ranting lunatic of his former self, even getting aggressive with small children. The one saving grace is Billy, a boy with a stutter who is mad crushing on Jamie… which begs the question, ‘Why is he in the children’s hospital?’ There isn’t anything wrong with him except he stutters. This isn’t the 1930’s, where you can drop off people you don’t want because they have a speech impairment, or an active imagination, or being a homosexual! This was in 1989!
Michael kills a guy named Michael and steals his muscle car. Michael II was the boyfriend of Tina, aka THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN HADDENFIELD, aka our protagonist, folks!…joy. Myers once again slashes through the scores of people who ‘get in his way?’, which include annoying teens, annoying cops, and not this annoying script… Oh, and Rachel, you know, the heroine of the previous film, is killed off in a super unceremonious way. At least we got to see her shower silhouette, if that’s any consolation.
Good stuff: Michael with a scythe; Michael running down kids in a car; killing annoying character; Loomis beating the ever loving crap out of a tranquilized and netted Michael before collapsing in a heap on top of him; Danielle Harris and Donald Pleasence’s performances; Michael likes cats but not dogs because Halloween.
Bad stuff: Too many annoying characters; poor dialogue; Michael never tucks is mask into his collar and it bugs me; Billy and Tina are pointlessly used and wasted; Michael CRIES from sadness; it tried too hard to connect with the other Myers’ films, keep up with the Jason movies, AND be it’s own thing which set up for it’s sequel which started with-
Really bad stuff: -The man in black. No not the Fresh Prince, a wholly new creation never brought up previously. A man in a black duster, pants, silver tipped cowboy boots who goes around town doing bad things like kicking puppies and chain smoking. It is revealed who it is later in the series, but he was supposed to be MICHAEL’S TWIN BROTHER. How? Why? Well, a conversation with the writer and producer went like this– “Does Michael have a twin brother?”; “They never said he didn’t.”
“–No, of course you don’t forget. How could you? You never looked into his face, did you? You never saw his eyes. You never saw that- that nothing, no expression, blank. My memory goes back twelve years to the night I offered-… I’m gonna show you, show you something. Look! Look at this, look at that! I *prayed* that he would burn in Hell, but in my heart I knew…Hell would not have him.”
Texan, y’all! Cinema glutton, horror enthusiast, sci-fi nerd, comic lover, and I like Japanese stuff too (the culture, kaiju, martial arts, samurai, some anime). Love me some Mario, Sonic, and Pokemon.
