Family is hard. Stories sometimes lie to us and say that “blood is thicker than water.” They also say that no one loves you like your family, which feels like doublespeak. Nowhere in that phrasing do we say that our families are perfect, even good, or would even be deserving of the love and effort that we give them. But family is family, and when the chips are down, whether we like it or not, most times we spring into action and are with one another. Whether or not that is a good decision is up to the individual and the family.
His Three Daughters examines this very question, among many others. Sometimes, when an important figure has died or is in the process of dying, we are forced to be with those that we separated from. That separation is sometimes due to random circumstances, and sometimes due to specific choices. Directed by Azazel Jacobs, the film focuses on three sisters; Rachel (Natasha Lyonne), who has lived with the ailing father, Katie (Carrie Coon), and Christina (Elizabeth Olsen), both of whom have built families of their own with varying levels of success.
The two sisters, knowing that they are intruding on Rachel and her life with their father, attempt, at least in words, to respect her space. But as occurs with siblings, they fall into old roles very quickly and they butt heads and voices raise. In particular, Rachel and Katie are repeatedly at each other’s throats. Christina, constantly trying to break them up and be the voice of reason, lets her own problems go unspoken.
His Three Daughters may strain viewers who are uncomfortable with theatrical stylings, but for those of us who don’t have that particular issue, the emotional impacts and rewards are lasting. Although Carrie Coon is the most talented actor of the three, it never feels uneven. The script, also from Azazel Jacobs, is a master class in balance. All of the sisters are perfectly imperfect, at some points endearing and others enraging. They are also wonderfully cast, each character playing to the actor’s particular strengths.
Coon is given many wordy monologues, which she unsurprisingly uses to hold the audience rapt throughout. Lyonne is the master of the deadpan, both in withering looks and sharp retorts. But the performance that is the most surprising is that of Elizabeth Olsen. As the one sister who holds her emotions close, she is given the challenge of communicating through subtlety rather than vocabulary or caustic jokes. She is the sister who, since childhood, was thought to have the perfect life. Many characters refer to her as having everything together. But, of course, even those who seem to have their issues under control are constantly bubbling under the surface with the pain of things left unsaid.
And that very pain is the most relatable, not just for the other two sisters, but for all of us. I will not deny that my experience of watching this movie was colored by my own loss. My own family went through something similar when my father passed. Sure, the drama was not quite as heightened, but it was there all the same. A not-yet-dead relative in a room as we gather is both disturbing and heartening. The process of death gives us all the opportunity for the heights of empathy and the depths of rage. And they are both true.
His Three Daughters, more than anything else, is deeply felt and purely human. We contain multitudes. We want to scream at our loved ones not to go. We want to say just the right thing before they die. Even if things are impossible or at least wildly difficult, we try. And that is what this movie posits, as well. There is no right way. To love, to grieve, to live, to die. All we have is one another. Our greatest strengths and our most debilitating weaknesses are connected to our community. We all need the complement. Things will never be perfect. But there is healing in that imperfection. His Three Daughters offers us that imperfect healing that we all yearn for and deserve.
His Three Daughters is currently playing in select theaters courtesy of Netflix. The film will be available for streaming on September 20, 2024.
His Three Daughters, more than anything else, is deeply felt and purely human. We contain multitudes. We want to scream at our loved ones not to go.
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Dave is a lifelong film fan who really got his start in the independent film heyday of the 90’s. Since then, he has tried to branch out into arthouse, international, and avant garde film. Despite that, he still enjoys a good romcom or action movie. His goal is to always expand his horizons, through writing and watching new movies.
