Review: Humanoids ‘Space Bastards,’ Issue 2 by Eric Peterson, Joe Aubrey and Darick Robertson


TV Announcer: Welcome back to “How it All Started.” The show that explains how Captains of Industry got their start. For today’s show, we are examining the Myth, the Legend of Roy Sharpton. We all know Sharpton as the Postmaster General and CEO of The Intergalactic Postal Service. Anyone who has received their packages from the far realms knows of I.P.S. The company who swears that “they will deliver your package, even if it KILLS them…or you!” But who is Roy Sharpton? How did this man of humble means become the head of the most efficiently ruthless delivery system in the Galaxy? That is what we will explore in today’s episode: Tooth and Mail: Episode 2, Birth of the Space Bastards.

First and Foremost, a Businessman

Roy Sharpton has always been a business man. A successful business man might be up to interpretation. However, the one thing Roy always had going for him was high energy and the willingness to push the envelope. Sometimes in directions that didn’t necessarily pay off. Perhaps he lived by that time worn nugget, “if you ain’t failing, you ain’t trying.” Roy was obviously trying because all his past business ventures had failed. Even his Sharpton Enterprises “Sexbot” line fell into decline. That one was a stumper. What kind of a world do we live in when a good “sexbot” isn’t wanted.

Gambling on Success

So what does a struggling entrepreneur do when he’s down on his luck? Why he goes to the Planet  Hiccopal, United Tribal Nations Reservation. In other words, he goes to the casino. And man he is ripping the place a new one. With every roll of the dice he is raking in the chips. His luck is out of control. Unfortunately, so is Roy’s mouth. One of the things that never seemed to develop for Roy was a filter. If he thought it, he said it. Foul language? Check! Offensive comments? Double Check!! It wasn’t that he wasn’t warned, but eventually he found himself being escorted from the casino floor. And after that, on the business end of a blunt instrument. WHAM!

New Owner of the Intergalactic Postal Service

Sometime fortune favors the obnoxious. When Roy regained consciousness, he found that the United Tribal Nations had sold him a business: The Intergalactic Postal Service. All for the tidy sum of 24 credits and a coupon for Ribs at Zarlac’s BBQ. If Roy were to think about it, he might have regretted giving up that coupon. But it didn’t matter. Needless details like financials were highly overrated. Roy Sharpton was back! Soon he was arriving to see his new domain.

What he found was that he was already buried in red. Damn! And this time he hadn’t even been responsible…not that he ever was. Well these things weren’t going to fix themselves. He made some changes but they were mainly cosmetic…and offensive. Roy quickly realized he was going to have to think outside the box.

The IPS Business Model

Sometimes you have to tackle a problem head on and “kick it in the balls.” Which is literally what Roy did. He then decided to test a new business model, offering a bottle of whiskey to whomever could pick up a box on the other side of the room and deliver it to him. That’s when a melee broke out. It seems people are willing to fight for something they want. As Nathan Johnson said in The Jerk: “It’s a PROFIT deal!”

After the lucky survivor of the scrum gave him the box, Roy handed him his prize and asked him how he felt. The answer was he felt good. Better than he had in some time. Roy had found his answer. People were tired of getting kicked in the balls for nothing. It needed to mean something…to pay something! Thus the new business model for the IPS was born. Want to get paid for delivering a package. Be the one who delivers it, by any means necessary. Every time that package changes hands that fee goes up and the possible profit increases as well. He had his plan. But that meant he need to recruit new workers. Employees who were built for his new concept. The question was, where could individuals with the required skill set be found?

Manny Corns

Where do you go to find the ultimate IGP employee? One who has no issue whatsoever in eliminating his rivals. A person who finds satisfaction in a killing well done…as long as he gets paid for it? Why the maximum security prison system of course. This is where Roy finds his all star player. One who will do his job and deliver the goods, body count be damned. Enter Manny Corns, or “The Manicorn,” or just Manny to his friends…if he had any.

But like all good prospects, Manny needed to be tested. There was a package that needed to be delivered. Manny’s job was simple: deliver that package. Needless to say, after a breaking in period and learning on the job, Manny did just that. He delivered the package to the recipient, Roy Sharpton. Roy had found his bonus baby. Now he needed to get some clients with some clout. That where his former business advisor Wayne Powers comes in. Powers has since moved onto his own company, Powers Industries. But all companies need packages delivered. Roy barges in and offers him free shipping in exchange for his companies technology to block police interference. It’s a win, win, Baby! So Roy had his backer.

The Intergalactic Postal Service Rules

Two years later, The Intergalactic Postal Service is a thriving Enterprise. Roy can be found on televisions everywhere recruiting new talent to deliver his packages. All you need is the want to and the courage to get the job done. Anyone can be a success if you’re willing to stop being the victim and start being the assailant…as long as you deliver that package.

The IGP had become so successful that Roy ended up purchasing the very Casino that started it all. But Roy is a generous man who remembers those who helped him. He would keep all the employees there. In fact, he would be moving his organization there. Life couldn’t be any better. What could go wrong? Funny you should ask. It seems that Powers Industries have developed a way to deliver packages that is both safer and less costly. For Roy Sharpton, it is just another challenge. Another chance to prove himself and perhaps, kick Wayne Powers in the balls, before he does it to him!  And THAT’S “How it all started.”

Thoughts

Space Bastards Issue 2 picks up the mayhem that Issue 1 started with an insight of the man who started it all, Roy Sharpton. Writers Peterson and Aubrey create a character that is part Carnival Barker, Wrestling Promoter, and Snake Oil Salesman with a…dare I say it, Stan Lee charm. And they do it with flair. Who knew that kicking folk in the testicles could be such a strong motivator? Sharpton is unapologetic with the way he does business. And that it what makes Roy…ROY!

We also get our first look at the origins of Manny Corns. Not so much why he was locked up in the first place, although it doesn’t take a huge leap of intuition to figure Manny must have killed someone. But we do see how Roy recruited him. There’s a comfort that Manny was as much a charmer in the beginning as he was when training new accountant postmen. We also got to see him add the first person to his “list.” Good times, good times.

Artwork

As the quote goes: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Well when it comes to the art of Darick Robertson, they all apply. He is a master of the kind of insane over the top action that Space Bastards embraces. Robertson brings the world of the Space Bastards to life with in your face confrontations all drawn with maniacal glee.  Add it all together and it equals a twisted fun that you can’t help but smile at…even when people are getting decimated.

Humanoids Space Bastards, Issue 2 is available February 10th, where all great comics are sold.🖖🏻

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