With all the kid superhero films we have, such as Spy Kids and Sky High, recently, a new film has joined the roster, and it doesn’t exactly push the genre forward in any way or, for that matter, even contribute anything to the genre. Secret Headquarters is as bland as the title and easily forgettable. The directing duo, Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost, have cast Owen Wilson as the Dad, who is secretly a superhero that goes by the name “The Guard” (boring), who is chosen by a green alien orb to receive its power and must now be the hero of the world, but when his son Charlie (Walker Scobell) stays at his father’s house for his birthday, he soon discovers his father’s secret underground lair. What should have been a very fun kids’ superhero movie full of fun personalities, characters, and tropes, instead turns out to be nothing but a collection of cool ideas that don’t come together.
Being that this film is written by a veteran comic book writer, Christopher Yost, who is joined by Josh Koenigsberg, I was hoping this was going to be a fun ride, but that isn’t the case here. It starts off with Wilson’s character, who is selected to be the world’s hero, becoming what heroes are to us: “legends.” Every kid has a hero in this world, right? Jack, his father, is supposed to be that hero to his son, to go on and inspire him. Yet, how can Charlie, who is unaware of his identity in the world and who is only now discovering that his father is a real-life superhero saving the world, know that the person he admires is his father if he is never present? That’s the problem: for the 100-minute run time, we only see him for less than an hour, which is nothing but phone conversations and/or scenes where he’s the only actor until he’s teamed up with his group in the final act.
When watching this film, you quickly discover why it’s called “Secret Headquarters.” The main characters spend most of their time in this secret liar. In the second act, these kids spend an immense amount of time in this lair, hiding, fighting, and occasionally fooling these adult mercenaries with their superhero toys. The production design in this instance is actually quite good, making excellent use of the entire area and adding some fantastic design elements, yet it’s so gloomy and gritty that the aesthetic quickly grows tiresome. Not to add that the action scenes here employ so much otherworldly technology that they become monotonous and repetitious. These scenes cause the movie to bog down and drag on, causing you to want it to all end.
Despite the fact that Walker Scobell does an outstanding job with the limited resources he was given, Charlie’s character does not develop in this instance. There are no father-son interactions in which they embark on a journey together or share an experience with his father being their hero; as a result, their relationship does not see any growth. Instead, Charlie’s character is largely left alone and plain, lacking any actual identity or feeling. Their arcs just lack a clear characterization of their characters, leaving you with unresolved questions.
The movie draws powers from Iron Man, Spy Kids, and even some Shazam!, but cannot seem to find its own space. It doesn’t know if it’s an action movie or a comedy movie, and mind you, for being a PG film, it has quite a lot of crude humor and violence tied together in this film that tries way too hard to be funny when it’s not at all. These characters don’t feel at all natural in the movie. Once again, there are no bad performances; it was just what they were given that just all fell very flat, and even the antagonists, particularly Argon (Michael Pea), whose objective is to steal the orb, ends up being just an insipid non-developed villain. There is just a lack of a real threat and no energy in the character. The film doesn’t even have you rooting for the good guys.
Overall, Secret Headquarters is a very watered-down Marvel wannabe with many ideas but no clear purpose. It isn’t nearly as funny; it lacks enough action. The film may look great, but simply put, it lacks the originality to justify the talent behind it.
Secret Headquarters is currently available to stream on Paramount+.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR2hwFpllz4]
Secret Headquarters is a very watered-down Marvel wannabe with many ideas but no clear purpose.
Codie Allen is a passionate trans and queer film critic and entertainment writer based in Orlando, FL. A Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic, Dorian Awards member, and CACF member, they also contribute to The Curb and InSession Film. When they’re not writing about films, you can find them sipping way too much tea and listening to Taylor Swift.
