As we near the end of the year, it’s customary to look back and review the most alarming or awesome entertainment stories of 2023. Celebrities going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Hollywood losing its mind, and a few dozen surprises from the geek vibes in movies, TV, and games that had most of us Slacking and texting each other with fury.
Let’s get right into the deep end of the pool with another patented GVN list. No floaties are necessary. Hold your breath. This will be a healthy swim down the lap pool of memory lane.
These are the 10 most alarming or awesome entertainment stories of 2023.
It’s a Me, Mario…Kinda
Nintendo fans went bananas in 2023, but not because of a sale or something. The acclaimed voice of Mario, Charles Martinet, retired from voicing the character he has brought to life since 1996. That was Super Mario 64, and now, he’s “Mario Ambassador,” whatever that means for his airline miles. Just about any iteration of Mario in gaming came with Martinet’s happy-go-lucky voice commanding the way. The move was made just ahead Super Mario Bros. Wonder, which landed on Switch in November.
Goldie Hawn: Touched by an Alien
While gossip hens and nerd critics like us at GVN were talking about entertainment stories of 2023, Goldie Hawn, 77, shared that she was a conduit for some extraterrestrial holiday visitation. She talked about these silver E.T.s with “triangular-shaped heads” and “a slash for a mouth.”
Most importantly, “They touched my face, and it felt like the finger of God,” she added. “It was the most benevolent, loving feeling. This was powerful. It was filled with light.” And, to make it even more remarkable, TMZ didn’t get a selfie.
Play Has No Limits, But Careers Do
After three decades of unparalleled achievement in gaming, President and CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan decided to hang up his controllers and go home. In March 2024, SIE will experience the end of an era. Starting at Sony’s European branch in 1994, he has been with the gaming phenomena there since the beginning. And today, now that PlayStation is outselling Xbox 3 to 1, he can ride off into the sunset knowing he ruled the world–one gaming system at a time.
Na-Na-Na-Nah. Hey, Hey, Hey. Goodbye.
The entertainment stories of 2023 began with a dark cloud in February. That’s when Disney CEO Bob Iger announced to the country that 7,000 of his employees were getting pink slips and could start their Spring Break early. And that was just the beginning. Entertainment and tech were gutted in 2023. Thousands were let go from Spotify, Google, and Amazon.
Throughout the year: Universal Music, Motown, Meta, Instagram, Downtown, Warner Music Group, Utopia Music, Discord, CAA, TikTok Music, BMG, SoundCloud, Amazon Music and TIDAL. In all, approximately 50,000-75,000 people were let go because monetizing didn’t go as well as expected in 2022. So sad.
Finally, Superhero Fatigue. Maybe.
Critics and Hollywood moguls have been predicting the death of CBMs for years. And they have been wrong, until 2023. CBMs experienced its worst year at the box office per capita since the 1990s. Nine films premiered, and all but two were forgettable, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom will probably end its climate-change theatrical run early as the DCEU ends by slamming into a brick wall. Other DC “elseworld” projects created a black cloud of suck, Blue Beetle (although a good movie, was never given a chance), Michael Keaton notwithstanding, The Flash sucked, and Shazam! Fury of the Gods barely created angst.
Marvel wasn’t much better with The Marvels, Secret Invasion, Loki: Season 2 being all meh, and Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania only stung people who bought tickets. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 3 was the only bright spot in a dimly lit year for CBMs. Moving on to 2024, gladly.
Jeremy Renner Snow Plowed
Hollywood almost lost a fantastic actor and nerds came close to losing an Avenger. When the reports of Jeremy Renner being in the ICU, people wanted to tone it down. They couldn’t when the following stories released that the Oscar-nominated actor was fighting for his life.
He was in critical condition with 30 broken bones, a pierced liver, and a collapsed lung. Turns out, some of our heroes are inspired by real-life acts of courage–he saved his nephew from experiencing the same fate, possibly worse. Hawkeye (or Ronin) forever!
Three Times the Force
Star Wars Celebration Europe 2023 was much more than fans of the Force expected. Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy came out of her cocoon to announce three new movies will be added to the Star Wars Universe–in 2023, 2025, and 2027.
- In 2023, James Mangold (Logan, The Wolverine) presents an origin film about the Jedi
- In 2025, Dave Filoni (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Ahsoka) is bringing us The New Republic
- In 2027, Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy (Children of the Taliban, Saving Face) tackles a mainstream film of difficulty–The New Order of the Jedi, also known as “Life after the Rise of Skywalker”
Tupac Had All Eyes on Him, 27 Years Later
The music world froze stiff when the Las Vegas Police Department proved to the world that cold cases do warm up. On September 29, almost three decades later, an arrest was made in the 1996 murder of prolific poet and performer Tupac Shakur.
A Clark County grand jury doled out a murder indictment for Duane “Keefe D” Davis, 60, that was long overdue. Although he was identified as one of four suspects early on, there was nothing concrete tying him to the act that killed the 25-year-old rapper. Until now. Police don’t normally get their flowers these days, but on that day, the florist came running.
Barbenheimer
This was a perfect storm we never knew we needed among entertainment stories of 2023. The two most substantial films of the year–Barbie and Oppenheimer–were released on the same day–July 21, 2023. For some inexplicable reason, the rush for the summer blockbuster was back for the first time since the pandemic.
Both movies were instant hits at the box office, passing $900 million (Barbie would eclipse $1.4B). Each film is worthy of Golden Globe and Oscar nominations. Memes and videos spread like wildfire. The most important thing was the head-to-head battle inspired a double impact that will link them forever–even in a feature film, for another inexplicable reason.
Hollywood Strikes Out
From July 14 to November 9, Hollywood shut down. For 118 days, and for the first time since 1980, bigwig muckety-mucks learned what gave Tinseltown all the sparkle–the people not in front of the camera. Sure, people go to the movies to see the beautiful people, but all those other folks who stream by during closing credits wanted what was due.
They cashed in with a strike that delayed screenings, shut down premieres, and executives think twice about the writers (WGA) and everyone else (SAG-AFTRA). A letter from SAG-AFTRA President (and former “Nanny” Fran Drescher was poignant and brutally effective.
We feel that our wages, our craft, our creative freedom, and the power of our union have all been undermined in the last decade. We need to reverse those trajectories. With inflation and continued growth in streaming, we need a seismic realignment of our minimum pay and new media residuals.
They got what they richly deserved and cinephiles everywhere rejoiced alongside them all. That was a curtain call. Bravo!
Since he saw ‘Dune’ in the $1 movie theater as a kid, this guy has been a lover of geek culture. It wasn’t until he became a professional copywriter, ghostwriter, and speechwriter that he began to write about it (a lot).
From the gravitas of the Sith, the genius of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, or the gluttony of today’s comic fan, SPW digs intelligent debate about entertainment. He’s also addicted to listicles, storytelling, useless trivia, and the Oxford comma. And, he prefers his puns intended.
