When Greta Gerwig directed what is about to become a $1 billion movie, there is no way she did research on some of the strangest Barbie dolls ever created. If she did, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling would have been one of the Golden Girls action figures and a sketchy Jar-Jar Binks.
Mattel is a global brand that has created many signatures in pop culture. From Hot Wheels to Monster High, Thomas the Train to Bob the Builder, Mattel is a company that knows what it is doing to make money.
Well, most of the time.
Hailing from Willows, Wisconsin, Barbie showed up with her fine self in 1959. Back then, she cost $3 and little girls’ imaginations went wild. She had outfits, gowns, make-up, and a nice ride.
The Barbie brand is worth $700 million–double what it was two years previously (thank you, Ms. Gerwig). Yet, despite how many of those dolls and clothes and cars and campers and dream houses they have sold, they have created some jacked-up Barbies.
If you are of the era, you may have asked your mama to buy one. And if you are from another Barbie World, then you will enjoy the travesties of toy-making that you missed.
These are the top 10 strangest Barbie dolls ever created.
10. Lounging Barbie
Calling all furries! Now is your chance to contribute like the rest of hard-working size 00 people who want to fit in jeggings that Midge finds fulfilling (more on her later).
These strangest Barbies ever are more for the Studio 54 crowd than anything else–iridescent tights, animal make up, and that tail doubles as a Hookah, She’s up to something after a hard day, and it’s probably not sitting around watching reality smut on Bravo.
9. My First Ken
The fun thing about “My First Ken” to make into the “strangest barbie dolls” ever list is that if you bought him, your child may have more questions than answers.
Back in the ’90s, dude found a charm in wearing earrings. No problem. Look at Michael Jordan, right? Ken had one, so conservative, sports-loving parents could answer that. However, he also came with a lave3nder vinyl vest, mesh shirt, and skintight jeans or jeggings.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
8. YouTuber Barbie
These days, everyone believes they have what it takes to become a social media influencer, Sure, it makes you into a ravenous form of a Kardashian, but they have doctors for that. This Video Girl had a small video camera in her necklace and the respective monitor was on her back.
While this didn’t earn much attention from the shoppers of the day, it did pique the interest of the FBI. They issued a warning to parents that they video may be fake as anything but it’s real enough to get hacked and made into an entirely different episode of Barbie. Sheesh!
7. Tokidoki Barbie
Back in 2009, Harley Davidson thought it would be a promising idea to partner with the Mattel Toy Company and have Barbie become one of Hells Angels. She would have wings tattooed on her back, among other stickers that could be applied.
Oh yes, she came with a tattoo gun.
Despite rancor amid “tramp stamps” and influencing toddlers with body art, the outrage and the sales remained until 2015. You’re so progressive Barbie.
6. Wash & Watch Barbie
Barbie was made to empower girls and get them to dream of what they could become. This moment of inspiration from Mattel showed girls if they believed in themselves they could grow up and become a dishwasher.
It’s not like this was from the “June Cleaver” collection; Wash & Watch Barbie was released in 1991! Suffrage reigns again? Way to go, Mattel. Anyone have Gloria Allred on speed dial?
5. Share a Smile Becky
If you saw the movie, you know Barbie doesn’t just have Ken. She has plenty of friends, including Becky. Barbie is an inclusive pal, a diverse chum. When we met Becky in a wheelchair in 1996, Mattel was applauded.
As the story goes, a 17-year-old named Kjersti Johnson in Tacoma, Washington took the WD-40 out of Becky’s wheels when she noticed one of the three Barbie Dreamhouses was not ADA-compliant. She loves Barbie but lives with cerebral palsy and found it troubling that Becky’s chair couldn’t get her everywhere.
Maybe Kjersti should have a job with Mattel to help them avoid stepping in piles from Frowning Beck found in the Barbie Chicken Farm?
4. Oreo Barbie
America’s favorite vegan snack was created with a harmless, concocted term. This is why we can’t have nice things because now, “OREO” is a pejorative. Wasn’t there anyone at Mattel who thought a partnership with this cutesy doll and an insulting stereotype made a lovely dip into a profitable glass of milk? Yes, this was one of the shortest-lived and strangest Barbie dolls ever. Yummy.
3. The Birds Barbie
Barbie made it to store shelves and little girls’ homes in 1959. Four years later, the master of suspense influenced a version of Barbie and freaked out folks moving forward. Alfred Hitchcock’s classic The Birds was celebrating its 45th anniversary in 2008.
Typically, that gift is sapphire, but Mattel wanted to give Hitchcock a Barbie resembling Tippi Hedren mauled by these flying predators. It was noted for “the adult collector” who enjoys seeing a business-class Barbie stalked by ravens and a random Turkey vulture.
One of the strangest Barbie dolls ever.
2. Growing Up Skipper
It’s nice to know that among the strangest Barbie dolls ever are her friends. Barbie shouldn’t have all the blame. Take “Growing Up Skipper,” for example. She didn’t do anything “wrong,” but she wasn’t supposed to do it like this in front of second graders.
In 1975, Mattel wanted Skipper to show certain “maturity changes.” So, turn her arm around and she gains an inch in height–along with her breasts–grows before your eyes.
Ah, yes. It’s the circle of life.
1. Pregnant Midge
You may have seen this trollop in the movie and just laughed it off. Yes, she’s real. Mattel thought it would be a clever idea to step in the parental role and let children know that if they get too cozy with Ken, challenging things could happen.
Never mind, Moms and Dads, Mattel has your back with what must be the strangest Barbie dolls ever.
Barbie is seen as the role model, but Midge was more of the real model. She went out, met a dude, believed his line about “You’re the only one,” and now we have an afternoon TV school special.
Thanks for the reality check, Midge.
Since he saw ‘Dune’ in the $1 movie theater as a kid, this guy has been a lover of geek culture. It wasn’t until he became a professional copywriter, ghostwriter, and speechwriter that he began to write about it (a lot).
From the gravitas of the Sith, the genius of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, or the gluttony of today’s comic fan, SPW digs intelligent debate about entertainment. He’s also addicted to listicles, storytelling, useless trivia, and the Oxford comma. And, he prefers his puns intended.