When we last visited, we discussed our company’s Orientation and FAQ’s. While it is always exciting to welcome new members into the IPS, we know that once you are employed, it’s nice to know what has been going on in the company. For that reason, our illustrious CEO Roy Sharpton makes it a point to share a monthly newsletter to do just that. Does he have anything to do with actually producing the newsletter? Hell NO! But that’s hardly important. In fact, don’t you people have packages to deliver?

Space Bastards, Issue 4

But I digress, one of our most popular sections is the Employee Profile. Every month we select one of our fine employees to share how they got started in the company. And perhaps, what made them choose to become a member of the IPS family. This month, we spotlight one of our most accomplished couriers, Resurrection Mary. The following is an excerpt from her story. Or as we call it, Space Bastards Tooth and Mail: A Date with Zordakk. The reason for that will become apparent as we go.

Mary: I didn’t start out as the bad ass courier you see before you. For that matter, I wasn’t even known as Mary then. I was Layla. In fact, I started with IPS as Roy Sharpton’s secretary. At first, it was an exciting opportunity. But I soon realized that I was doing my job and then some. Eventually, I felt like I was meant for more. I had ideas that would really push the company to the next level. So I asked Roy for a promotion. But what I really wanted was a part ownership. Roy shot me down faster than if I had been a eight point buck. But he did offer to make me a courier. He said that way I would be my own boss and make more money. After giving it a moments thought, I quit. But not before I accepted the courier’s wrist device.

Looking for Responsibility

We next asked Mary about what she did after she initially left the company. She had an impressive skill set. No doubt she could have found a job anywhere. However, her first stop was Powers Industries.

Mary: The fact that Powers was becoming a competitor to IPS didn’t figure into my decision to approach them for a job. I wanted to work somewhere that valued my experience. Somewhere that would listen to my ideas and give me the kind of responsibility and recompense that I desired. And that place, as it turns out…was NOT Powers Industries. All they wanted was for me to spill company secrets about Roy and IPS. But, while I was still pretty mad at Roy, I was not going to be used by Powers just to piss in Roy’s cornflakes.

So I took my leave of them as well. But I still needed a job and I still had the IPS device. So I decided that until I could make other plans, I might as well give the IPS Delivery job a try. I knew this would not be easy, as I would be going against some pretty ruthless and hungry people. As Roy’s secretary, I had seen many of them. From Manny Corns to that greaseball Leroy, to that little green slimer Zordakk. But I had something that they didn’t. Brains, cunning, and a huge desire to stick it to everyone of them who doubted me. So I came up with a plan. One that if successful, would give me the control I desired and the money to do it.

A Date with Zordakk

Art by Darick Robertson

What her plan was and how she executed it is classified…ok…it was because she wouldn’t tell us. However, if you want to know more details, please read Humanoids Space Bastards Issue 4. How those Bastards got the story and we didn’t still ticks me off. I mean…we’re the COMPANY Newsletter! But there’s still the story of our little friend Zordakk. You remember Zordakk, Right? The recent coverboy of ZQ Magazine? Well apparently, our pal Zordakk had discovered Mary’s methods and threatened to tell everyone about them if she didn’t comply with his demands. But what else would you expect from an IPS member?

So we asked Mary about her “Date with Zordakk.” She was quick to affirm it wasn’t really a date, it was more a visit to resolve a misunderstanding. He really didn’t understand her if he thought she was going to succumb to his threats. And that would be made clear to him very soon. He was expecting some company and she sure as hell didn’t want to disappoint him.

Not What Zordakk was Expecting

Mary: After Zordakk made his demands, I knew that he would probably follow through if I didn’t convince him otherwise. He had been called many things, but a liar was not one of them, at least as far as I knew. However, I couldn’t take that chance. So I went to the rendezvous but I was not packing what he had hoped. As surprised as he was with my arrival, he was just as ready for me to leave. Apparently, I was not quite as attractive as he had wanted… or brought as many ladies as he had planned. Not sure if I should have been offended or not. I mean, the little sprout should BE so lucky.

Anyways, while I was straightening Zordakk out, he received a call from David Proton. Apparently, Proton had received an assignment from Sharpton that he needed some help with. I had recently developed a connection with Proton. Ok, I had recently delivered…well almost delivered him to the Hospital. It was part of the IPS illustrious medical benefits. In fact, that little toad Zordakk stole my fee for that. Forget it, I’m NOT upset he didn’t want me. But it did open the door to another opportunity to make some credits. All I needed to do was help Proton, and wait for an opportunity to help myself to whatever his fee is. It’s not personal, it’s IPS.

IPS: The Best Place to Work

And that’s what makes IPS the best place to work. Employees who take the initiative to screw each other. But with respect. I’m sure Mr. Proton understands that. Actually, he learned that lesson early on. Just ask Manny Corns. Unfortunately, the job also required sticking it to Powers Industries. That meant that they would be sending someone after their property. But that is a story for another addition of the IPS Corporate Newsletter.

Thoughts

Three words: Mayhem, Violence and Fun. That is the core of what makes Space Bastards such a good read. It started from issue 1 and continued at an avalanche pace since then. Aubrey and Peterson have created a world where the only thing that matters is doing the job in front of you. No such thing as unfair or betrayal. Did you get the fee? You WIN! At least for that particular job, and then the game starts all over again. Which makes for a never ending well spring of stories to tell and characters to create.

And speaking of characters, that’s another reason that Space Bastards rules. Every issue produces such diverse and interesting characters. From the forever angry and murderous Manicorn to the almost everyman David S. Proton. From the driven and industrious Layla/Resurrection Mary to the lecherous little green guy Zordakk and his obsession with woman’s hygiene products. And who better to lead us through all of them than the team of Aubrey, Peterson and Robertson?

Artwork

Through four issues, Darick Robertson has proven time and time again his brilliance at displaying the kind of action that fills every page of Humanoids Space Bastards. In fact, there is an almost palatable joy reflected in each panel. Clearly the work of a man who loves what he does. That kind of passion is noticed by the reader and along with dialogue, draws them in like moths to a flame. We can’t help ourselves.

So we have a confluence of participants heading into a collision course. Which if past experience tells us anything, we can expect a combustible situation when all the players come together. And that doesn’t count those on the periphery that could get involved. Because, whenever David Proton is involved, expect to see the Manicorn to make an appearance. That alone makes it a must read. Be sure to check out Humanoids Space Bastards Issue 4 where all great comics are sold.


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